Felicity vs. An Introduction

October 19th, 1pm, Greenwich Meantime. From here on in, I write without a script. See if anything comes of it.[1]

Who am I?[2] If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is[3] that I am Felicity. You prob'ly never heard my name (reports of my fame aren't greatly exaggerated),[4] but I am proud to say that I am perfectly normal, thank you very much.[5] The idea of not being normal makes me sick, and that's all there is to read about in the papers.[6] I think you would understand that, dear friend, because I think that you are alive and appreciate what that means.[7]

So anyway, on the bus today, I started thinking about what my life would be if I became one of them. A blogger, you know?[8] After all, it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single writer in possession of good syntax, must be in want of a blog.[9]



I then went on a mission (no more wishin' someone could cure this thriving ambition)[10] to find somewhere only I know,[11] a wired jungle where dreams are made and there's nothing you can't do,[12] because I was tired of thinking "no, forget it, it's too risky". I'm through doin' that shit.[13] Can't you see - to look at me - that I'm the greatest star? I am by far and I'll expose it.[14]

Now on this blog, there'll be puppets and paupers and pirates and poets, a pawn and a king. There'll be ups and downs, overs and outs.[15] There'll be days of inspiration, playing hooky, making something out nothing, the need to express and communicate.[16] Just you wait![17] I'll fly you to the moon and we can play beneath the stars.[18] You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down;[19] it'll be all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows[20] from here, folks. Heck, if that's what you need, I can find more for you - I can be your supply. I can be your guy![21]

Except when I don't - because sometimes, I won't - I might get all hung up and left in a lurch.[22] I know I'll have to get up, but hell if I know how,[23] because the morning is just a town house burning to the ground and the snooze button is a fire extinguisher.

Then I remember that I am blessed to have tragedies so small that they fit on the tip of my tongue,[24]  that there are bright young women sick of sexism ready to stand,[25] and that I have the whole world in my hands[26] so it's good to be alive right about now.[27] Because what if a car hits me tomorrow?

I die.[28]

So with my 525,600 minutes each year[29] I'm gonna be the very best, like no-one ever was,[30] because the sun will come out tomorrow[31] and all that glitters is gold.[32] I'll remember the only prime and real love-rhyme (which leaves no smart)[33] of the 21st night of September when we were chasing the clouds away[34] and it's gonna be good. You'll see.[35]

So that's a little story all about my how my life got flipped, turned upside down[36] by a crazy little thing called a blog.[37] To think - it's been here all along, somewhere to belong and believe in.[38] I founded it all on my own. It's little, and broken...[39]

You'll be back, time will tell. You'll remember that I wrote this well.[40] I hope so, at least. I'm still trying to convince my shadow that I'm someone worth following.[41]

Anyway, I'm out y'all. Peace.[42]

BONUS
A short time ago, in a town far, far away...[1]

When I'm sixty-four[2] I'm gonna be the very best, like no-one ever was.[3]

Now, I'm the type of guy who don't believe that chivalry is dead[4] so if you wanna go and take a ride with me[5] then you gotta get with my friends,[6] or go check yo self before you wreck yo self[7] because I don't want no scrubs[8] in my life.[9]